Orlando Florida Sucks LogoOrlando Florida Sucks Website

(The Views Expressed Here Are The Opinions Of The Webmaster, His Friends, Co-workers, And Everyone He Knows)

Just who you want teaching your kids!

This pot growing teacher is a great role model.

A former Titusville elementary teacher caught growing marijuana plants in her home will serve two years of probation after pleading guilty to manufacturing the drug, court records show.

Heather Ovalles, 36, was a first-year teacher at Oak Park Elementary when police said they stumbled upon the drug operation while searching for Ovalles' ex-boyfriend, Shawn Creamer, following a December 2006 shooting rampage at the Great Outdoors RV Park and Golf Resort outside Titusville, Local 6 News partner Florida Today reported.

In a quest to confront another ex-girlfriend who lived at the resort, Creamer killed a security guard and his ex's friend before turning the gun on himself, police said.

While questioning Ovalles, police said they discovered an "elaborate grow house" in the woman's Titusville home, which included a room equipped with special lights and ventilation devices used to cultivate 56 marijuana plants.


WOW! Just WOW!

 

A woman and her husband were arrested on Tuesday after nearly 20 flea-infested Great Danes were seized and officials said they found the living room of their Central Florida home covered in feces - 10 inches of feces! Patricia Ann Rust, 62, of Lakeland, was charged with 11 counts of animal cruelty and her husband, Mason William Rust, 70, of Lakeland, was charged with 10 counts of animal cruelty.  The Polk County Sheriff's Office said an investigation began in November when Animal Control was contacted by an individual from the Great Dane Rescue of Tampa Bay, advising that she had taken custody of a dog that was severely malnourished and had difficulty walking.

 

 

Why Orlando Sucks
Things That Don't Suck
Communication
Cool Stuff
Tourist Tips
Link Banners

 

Most popular website in Orlando!!! Click here to advertise!

NEW STORIES!

13 Deputies in St. Pete (just around the corner from Orlando) think they are the Dukes of Hazzard!

Even Santa isn't safe from the nutjobs in Central Florida

 

 

 

 

 

CLICK HERE FOR PREVIOUS NEWS STORIES

YUMMY!

An Orlando woman went to a gas station for a snack, but what she got was anything but appetizing. She said she found bugs crawling across her Hershey's bar and videotaped the proof.  The candy bar wasn't the only one covered with insects bought at the Chevron gas station at Marks Street and Mills Avenue near downtown Orlando. When Eyewitness News got involved with the case, the Florida Department of Agriculture did, too.


Another reason it sucks to fly into Orlando Airport.  Nothing like being left in your WHEELCHAIR on the TARMAC!


MUG SHOT of the day


 

Orlando's History

Orlando is located in Orange County Florida.. Orange County was originally named mosquito county by the Spanish, but changed in 1845 to the more tourist friendly name of Orange County. To quote Shakespeare "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet." All these centuries later.. the same holds true for swamp land!

The Webmaster is watching you!"True art is selfish and preverse, It will not conform to the mold of flattery" -The Webmaster (and Beethoven)

People who have changed their vacation plans after finding this site

crazy orlando florida sucks counter

 

Have you seen the bean?                         Billy Donovan logged on to my site two days before his announcement, BOOYAH score another one for the good guys!                                    Thousands of Emails have poured in from people who have changed their vacation plans to another city, the revolution has begun!                 Congrats are in order..We are Orlando Weekly's "New Favorite Website!"                                  Late Breaking News! www.orlandofloridasucks.com rated #1 website in the bites, blows, and sucks category!                   The Webmaster is watching!

 

  Disney may not be the happiest place in the world, but if you HAVE to go, don't pay gate price. Get your Disney Tickets at a discount. Also, Orlando Rental Cars really help make getting around town easier. And, when you have discount codes and coupons, those rental cars can come at a great rate.

 

Orlando has some really sucky hotels; however, we also have some pretty decent hotel deals near Disney World. If you are looking for discount Orlando hotels near all the attractions we actually have quite a large selection. One of the hottest new craves amongst visitors is to find a vacation homes in Orlando. All these homes have great swimming pools and offer at least 1500 square feet so the guest may spread out and relax a little more while they are on vacation.

 

ORLANDO WEATHER

 Forecast for today, High in the 90s.. low in the 40s with a 50% chance of rain off and on all day. Towards late afternoon we expect multiple hurricanes and tornadoes.

 

Ok, Ok, keep your shirt on.. here's the real weather. Don't be mad if it's worse than my weather!

 

 current orlando florida weather

 Real Orlando news

Updated 05/09/2008

Forget Michael Vick! - We gots DOGGIE FIGHTS right here in Orlando

 

DISNEY DEATHS - Another Death at Disney World.  Happy place to die on Earth.

 

Disney Rapes - If you can't kill 'em, rape em - The theme parks are just full of surprises!

 

ORLANDO PLANT THEFTS? Yes that's right fair citizens.. even your plants aren't safe!

This is exclusive footage that was sent to me by a loyal viewer, he will be justly rewarded!

 

 

 

See what really cool people are saying about this site!

"It looks like a 5 year old made it. Very crappy, gaudy and ugly."

- bmurphy, posted on some other crappy site

"It's amateur hour, and the webmaster has only the slightest passing acquaintance with the concepts of grammar"

-Bob Whitby, Orlandoweekly.com

"I came across your website by accident, and it's really, really bad... how is the weather back in 1993?"

AJB, Orlando Florida (SperChucker92@aol.com)

Look guys, I got the pictures you sent of your mom but I can't make everyone the babe of the week! Don't take it so personal, jesus..

Tell a friend how much Orlando Sucks!


Arrrr! Captain Dan and his scurvy crew!You trust The Webmaster on everything right? I mean I haven't been wrong yet. So let me tell you about Captain Dan (and his scurvy crew). This is AUTHENTIC pirate hip hop.. if you like hip hop OR pirates you will love this. If you like hip hop AND pirates you will worship this man as a god! So go check out his Myspace, then buy the CD and the T-shirt. Click the pic

Previous Orlando Florida Sucks News! (My News)

(Click here to view MORE previous news)

 


www.firehouse52.com the unofficial site of orange county fire rescue station 52!! CHECK THIS OUT! This is the "Unofficial" site of Orange County Fire Rescue Station 52! They are a great bunch of guys and if you don't appreciate that they risk their lives every day for you then you are an ungrateful bastard indeed!

Mickey Mouse gets kicked in his meat and potatoes at Disney World Orlando Florida

This is what I feel like doing every time I go to Disney, ouch! Take that ya rat.. right in the meat and potatoes!

 

 

If you MUST take your vacation in Orlando then please at least read my tips for tourists, it covers most of the tourist scams. There are MUCH better places for a vacation than here. By better I mean safer, cheaper, and more friendly.


What happened to Trei Johnson from myfoxorlando.com!

A picture of a hot local news anchor in Orlando Florida

She eloped with "black bean" from the Monsters (104.1)

Tom Sussi exposed her as an unlicensed contractor and she was forced to go underground.

Fox executives discovered her scandalous Myspace page.. and after "investigating" it for hours on end.. month after month.. they asked her to resign.




Free UK (United Kingdom) translator: Drink 12 beers and replace the word vacation with the word holiday!!


Orlando doesn't just suck.. it bites, blows, and stinks too!


Mickey Mouse terrorizes a small child at Disney World In Orlando Florida

"Buy an $8 Coke or I'll eat you!"


Ok, I need to be serious for ONE SECOND.. one of the best charities I have ever found is "Give Kids The World". They do amazing work. If you can't afford to donate your money you could still donate your time.. It will make you feel good, I promise. Check them out here..

Give Kids the World in Orlando Florida


We are the #1 gripe site in the world, maybe even the universe!

Orlando Florida Sucks Navigation

Why Orlando Sucks

Tourist Tips
Link Banners

Home

Things That Don't Suck

Communication

Cool Stuff

Babe of the Week! | Book Store! | Online Webmall | Contest Page | Links Page

 

 



If you are going to be staying at an Orlando hotel or eating at a local restaurant please check out the restaurants and hotels page. Believe me I have tried (or worked at) them all, and I won't steer you wrong!


How about some websites that don't suck? Here are the best Orlando links:

Well, I can't think of any right now but I'll get back to you.


Other Good "Sucks" Sites!

 

American Express Sucks

 

The Unauthorized Anti-Disney Page

 

 WebGripeSites.com


Your Orlando Florida vacation sucked? Email us and tell us why!


This is THE authority website on Orlando Florida!! If you want "weather babes" go to myfoxorlando.com! If you want real news you can use come see me!


Funny quote of the day!

"Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be."
Joan Rivers

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
Douglas Adams

"I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me."
Stephen Fry

"My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings."
Jay London

"You sure do got a purdy mouth"


THIS SPACE FOR RENT! Wouldn't you love to see your ad here? Sure you would, email me to find out how!

Here is the "Naughty Disney" video that has been going around the net for the last month. It starts off slow then picks up steam! These are the same people taking pics with your kids!


Watch Tigger lay his smackdown!

Tigger was quoted as saying "Brat better have my money!"

 

Places In Orlando That REALLY Suck

"Terror In Orlando" - Don't bother looking for this place.. they have a website and they have coupons in those tourist books, but what they don't have is a business. They are advertising they are open and they haven't started construction.. GENIUS! Their website even has hours of operation and ticket prices...*UPDATE* The place that was advertising and giving out coupons MONTHS before construction even started is now open. If you want to go do it quick.. it won't be there long.

"China Lilac" - If you like bad Chinese food at high prices these are the people for you! Oh, and they don't know how to use their credit card machine so your card will get authorized about 6 times, JOY! Their website makes me laugh! You thought this one had a lot of typos?? "Best Chinese Restaurant In Your Neighbor", that just sounds gross! In my neighbor? "It's that simply! Further more, you will save a lot from clicking your mouse!". Change that "y" to an "e" you knuckle heads.. oh and you could save MORE money by NOT clicking your mouse, HA!

"Dish Network" - Not just Orlando but anywhere... this is the biggest rip off you can find. They bill you for stuff you don't have and then keep your money even if they admit they are wrong. Their call center is in India and the people working it understand about 6 words of English. check out www.dishnetworksucks.com (it's not my site, honest!)

"Huhot Mongolian Grill" - bad food cooked by people who look homeless.. at least you can watch them cook it. This is NOT a good Mongolian Grill (BBQ). Our waiters head was shaved except two strands of hair that I guess were supposed to be devil horns. Yeah, that's who I want around my food! Everything about this place sucked!

"Reserve Orlando" - These people do third party booking for the dinner shows, hotels and some other things in Orlando. If you book through them you ARE going to attend. Why? Because they NEVER answer their phone, they have a recorded message that says "please call back because wait times are.. too long". Its obviously crap because it ALWAYS says "too long" for the wait times, then it hangs up on you. They get a cut every time they book something for you.. how that works is if you book through them you're paying full price. Almost everything is Orlando has a full price (for suckers) and a discounted rate that is in the coupon books, AAA, etc.. if you book through them you pay full price which NO ONE does and they get the extra.

"Sterling Crest Apartments and Copper Terrace Apartments on Kirkman Road" - These places are both dumps. You might as well camp out in the parking lot of the Super Walmart across the street, you would have the same neighbors! They both SUCKED.

"Two Men And  A Truck" - These movers don't know their arse from a hole in the ground. First they start charging you when they leave their "base". This in itself seems dubious to me. Now even though their base is 15 minutes away they mysteriously show up 45 minutes later with fast food in hand, wife beater clad.. looking and smelling like they just escaped from a prison road crew. Then they man handle your property as if they get paid EXTRA for breaking things. They also have the testicles to ASK for a tip when they are done.. and then leave those fast food rappers laying in your yard. Just hire some crack heads, they are cheaper and much more professional.

"UPS" - Orlando is the only city I have lived in that UPS is too LAZY to bring packages to your door. If you live in an apartment they will drop everything off at the office. If you're LUCKY they will put a sticky note on your door telling you it's at the office, but they WON'T knock?? Sometimes they won't even do that! If you live in a house they will just sneak up and put the sticky note on your door and leave. Is that what you brown clad morons get paid to do? Tip toe around putting sticky notes on peoples doors? This isn't an isolated incident, I have had this happen at least 10 times in the last 5 years. I guess if you are expecting something important you should sit out on your porch, if we all start doing that these guys will probably start throwing the sticky note out the van window as they drive by.

 

This Space reserved for:

ANY PERSON, PLACE, OR THING THAT PISSES ME OFF!