Now, we here at OrlandoFloridaSucks.com are always on the hunt for the "suckitude" of Orlando. I mean, it's hard not to realize we are pure hating on the injustice and stupidity of some of the people in the area. We don't think EVERYTHING Orlando sucks, but we do think quite a bit of it does. Fortunately, we are not alone in this mentality. Visitors, guests, and users of our site are privy to the suckitude of Orlando, and they would like to share. Here are some of those user contributions. Email us below to submit your observations of suckitude whilst on your family vacation, business trip, or just locally palling around the city.
This little gem was sent to us by an anonymous contributor who we'll call Crazed Cracker:
"bro whats your fucking problem with orlando that you would take the time to make a site like this. every town has fucking problems like yours for instance they have to deal with you so thats got to suck. so y not find a more useful way to spend your time like blowing your brains out, oh ya and dont forget to your whole mouth over the barrel before you pull the trigger"
See, not everyone agrees with what we do here at OrlandoFloridaSucks, but all I can say to that is "keep it coming, ladies." Whether your responses are good or bad, we'll put them up for everyone to see; it's only fair. We don't sugar coat anything we put up on our site. Like I had said before, I don't hate everything Orlando, and most of what we got here is a ranting site where we point out some of the "best of the area". I think I know what this individual's problem is though.
From the looks of the message, which was copied word for word, the amazing but not surprising misuse or absence of grammar and punctuation along with the time it was sent leads me to believe this individual was wasted. Trust me, I've been there before. Crazed Cracker is obviously stressed because he/she did not get any action after hitting up the local watering hole for some late night companionship. They were probably forced to take care of themselves after a long night of prowling the town for a girl or guy desperate enough to settle for the bottom of the barrel.
As to the advice on ending my own life, well it has seriously been contemplated. For instance when I read this email I was like, "Yes. I have no more faith in the education system of this country. I really could not stand to raise children in a world where people do not care to use proper grammar and punctuation. I must take my own life." See, the reason why I took the time to create this site is because I get paid really well to do it. I am also bored and a certified hater. These strong points concatenate into a super robot of pure hatred towards stupid people who happen to live within my geographical area. On top of all that, yes I agree that it sucks that people have to deal with me, that may even be why they turn into morons and do all of the things that I and our fans complain about, but I digress.
So Crazed Crackhead Cracker, if you're reading this post let me shed a little light on some of the vocabulary I used right here, to avoid confusion:
This was submitted to us by James H. over in the Disney World/ Lake Buena Vista area:
"Rip off gas prices on Hotel Park Avenue. $5.59 for a gallon of gas."
To this I say, "Hell yeah buddy; that is a major rip-off!" I mean, normally everywhere you go, the gas prices over by major airports will post way higher fuel prices because you are in the midst of an area saturated by rental car facilities. These facilities will normally charge a fee on top of a ridiculous fuel price (usually around $8 per gallon) for not returning your vehicle with the proper amount of fuel. Oddly enough, the area which James is reporting from is nowhere near the airport, so what gives?
See, I think this is an attempt by some jerk-off opportunist to stick it to the "fine tourists" who fuel our Central Florida economy by driving around to all the attractions and stay at the hotels, and purchase food and other items while in town. Now don't get me wrong. I think the tourists act and drive like jerks for the most part although there are exceptions to the statement, but you jerks know who you are.
Nah, there is no need for fuel to be at around double what it is everywhere else in the local area. This is definitely a rip off indeed sir and we're going to investigate! In the meantime, don't buy gas at this place, or you're just as responsible for allowing them to do so.